


Tipping Point

by respoftw



Series: The Adventures of Ace Dameron [8]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Kid Fic, M/M, Nightmares, PTSD, injured child
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-23
Updated: 2016-01-23
Packaged: 2018-05-15 19:08:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5796376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/respoftw/pseuds/respoftw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn allows himself to be pinned down, forces himself to laugh as Ace runs around the room in victory and tries very hard to ignore the cold feeling in his chest when Ace tells him "that he was the bestest at playing sol'jers ever."</p><p>He's not sure that he entirely manages to succeed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tipping Point

**Author's Note:**

> As you might be able to tell from the tags, this is not a happy, fluffy instalment like the rest of the series but I was prompted the idea and I couldn't resist.
> 
> We will be back to our not-so-regularly scheduled fluff fest after this one, I promise.

Asa is force sensitive.

Finn still can't quite wrap his head around it but he he knows in his bones that it's true. If his own observations of Ace's uncanny insight weren't enough to convince him of the truth, the sheer terror in Poe's voice when he had told Finn would have. Finn knows how good the Force can be - he sees example of it every day in Rey - but he had served under Kylo Ren and the First Order long enough to know just what the darker side of the Force is capable of. Just imagining Asa being pulled towards that path is horrifying. For that reason, and a million more selfish ones, he had promised Poe that he would take the secret to his grave.

Watching Ace play soldiers with his stuffed animals, commanding imaginary troops from his place on an upturned crate, Finn hopes that Ace never has to fight for real. It still takes his breath away, just how fierce his need to protect this kid is.

"What are you up there, peanut?" he asks from his place in the doorway.

"Finn!" Ace abandons his army, jumping off the crate and flinging himself at Finn's legs in greeting. "Papa said you were busy with the strat-, um, with the stratisists today and that's why we couldn't play."

Grinning, Finn corrects him gently. "The _strategists_. And no, something came up and they're in a meeting with your Papa and the General so I thought I'd come and hang out with my favourite person. So, what are we playing?"

Ace gifts him with a wide smile at being called his favourite person before pulling at his hand and dragging him towards his rows of troops and putting him to work.

* * *

"Surrender, Captain Finn!" Ace yells in delight as he and his trusty stuffed bantha pounce on Finn's chest, pinning him to the floor. "You have been defeated, you will never hurt these villagers ever again!"

Finn allows himself to be pinned down, forces himself to laugh as Ace runs around the room in victory and tries very hard to ignore the cold feeling in his chest when Ace tells him "that he was the bestest at playing sol'jers ever."

He's not sure that he entirely manages to succeed.

* * *

Poe had made a brief appearance sometime before evening meal, apologetic and harassed looking. "It's gonna be another few hours," he'd admitted to Finn as Ace ran off to find the picture he'd drew earlier. "Can you put him to bed? You're welcome to stay here tonight."

"You trying to get me in your bed tonight, Commander?" Finn had asked, smiling genuinely for the first time since Ace had assigned him the role of the evil First Order Captain.

"Always."

* * *

He'd fallen asleep with Poe still gone, a comm having come in not long before the change of day saying that the meeting was likely to last a while longer. Not even being surrounded by the warm, familiar fragrance of Poe could stop the nightmares.

 _"You have been defeated and you will never hurt these villagers again."_ The words ring around his head until they echo.

Finn might not have ever actually taken part in one of the massacres that the First Order were so famous for but he'd trained enough for them that it sometimes felt like he had. Jakku had been a horrible experience, an eye-opening experience, and ultimately it had also been his breaking point.

In his nightmares, though, it managed to be a million times worse. Nameless, faceless villagers replaced by Snap, by Jessika, by Leia, Rey, Poe, _Asa_.

Waking up to the echoes of Asa's screaming sobs only to realise that they're not just a part of the dream made every torture the Order threw at him feel like nothing. Realising that Ace was sobbing in pain, clutching his arm and staring at him with a look of utter betrayal in his eyes was a pain so great that Finn's not even sure that the First Order were capable of it.

He scrambles out of Poe's bed and tries not to flinch as Ace curls in on himself. It's becoming painfully clear to Finn that _he_ did this - he _hurt_ Ace. It wouldn't be the first time he's lashed out in his nightmares but it's usually himself he hurts, not even at his lowest point had he ever imagined that he could end up hurting someone else.

* * *

Finn had made the run to the Medbay with Asa in his arms once before and it was no less terrifying this time.

Ace had stopped crying somewhere along the way but his small body continued to tremble, small hitching breaths and tear-streaked cheeks cutting through Finn like a lasercanon.

He doesn't remember the doctors contacting Poe until he's suddenly in Finn's face, asking what happened, asking if Ace was OK.

"I hit him," Finn whispers. "I hit him, oh Stars, I hit him and his arm is broken and I should have known this would happen and - -" he trails off, knowing that apologies weren't good enough. _Nothing_ could ever be good enough, nothing would ever be good again.

Rey gasps behind him and Poe looks strangely blank in front of him, bewildered, like someone had just told him something ridiculous like the world is flat and Finn can't stand any of it.

He does what he does best and runs.

* * *

Poe finds him just as he's finished packing, ready to leave and go...somewhere, anywhere but here where there's no way he could still be wanted and Finn braces himself for yelling, for a punch, for whatever punishment Poe has decided that he deserves.

He doesn't expect the hug.

He doesn't expect the hand that cradles his head and strokes his neck.

He doesn't expect the litany of soothing words and comfort.

 _You were asleep, you didn't know, this isn't your fault, we'll get you someone to talk to, they'll help you, it'll get better, Ace is going to be fine, he wants to see you, I love you, We love you_.

Finn breaks down in Poe's arms and lets himself be held.  He doesn't deserve this, doesn't deserve Poe but he's not strong enough to turn away from everything he wants, he's not sure that Poe would let him if he tried.

* * *

"I'm sorry I made you play sol'jers with me, Daddy," Ace sobs his apology into Finn's neck, the bright orange plaster cast on his left arm an awful reminder of what had happened. "I forgotted what Papa tolds me about being careful, I'm sorry, please don't hate me."

"Ace, peanut," Finn blinks through the tears in his eyes. "I could never ever hate you. I'm so, so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, I love you so, so much."

Ace hugs him tighter, his tears mingling with Finn's own. "I love you too, Daddy. Always."

"Always and forever, peanut. Daddy loves you too."

* * *

 

He wishes that things got miraculously better after that but that's not the way that life works. The truth of the matter is that Finn has a lot of issues to work out and he doesn't trust himself to sleep near anyone for a long time afterwards, finds any excuse he can not to be left alone with Ace until Ace throws the one and only tantrum Finn has ever seen him have over how much he misses his Daddy.

_Daddy._

It's funny, Finn hadn't felt ready for that title before the Incident ("Stop calling it that," Poe keeps saying. " I can hear you use the capital letter and it doesn't deserve that kind of power over you. It was an accident, that's all.") and, really, the ~~Incid~~ \- accident should have made him even more reluctant to take the role on.

Maybe it's just that he can't deny Ace anything after what happened - a reaction that Ace had taken full advantage of until Poe had put a stop to it - but Finn doesn't think so.

Sometimes you just don't know how much you want something until you're convinced that you'll never be able to have it.

Poe tries to throw a similar tantrum about how much he misses sharing a bed with Finn which makes Ace laugh so hard that he throws up and by the time they'd got him bathed and changed and cleaned the floor, Finn had fallen asleep in Poe's bed without even thinking about it.

Poe still counts it as a win.

Finn secretly agrees.

Things don't get better overnight but slowly, surely, with each passing day they get closer to their happily ever after.

**Author's Note:**

> This was based on the following anonymous prompt: I was wondering if you can write where Ace gets hurt while Finn was watching him, and Poe blames Finn for what happened. Even though it wasn't his fault at all, and Poe feels real bad about it later
> 
> If anyone has any ideas for things they'd like to see in this series - please let me know either in the comments or message me on [tumblr](http://buffycuddlespigs.tumblr.com/ask)


End file.
